Excellent moral

I really like this forward too ...
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An Excellent Moral mainly for software Engineers...


Do we have to change ourselves to please strangers.
And if you do, you are in for life long misery.

Start and go ahead don't miss even a single line..

An old man, staying in a small south Indian town came to visit his son
in Bombay recently. The son in his early thirties is a successful
businessman living with his wife and son.

The father, having spent most of his life at his birthplace, hardly
understands a splatter of Hindi or English, forget Marathi. But he doesn't
care. 'I have come here to spend a few days with my son and his family.
I don't have to go out and socialize with the city people,' he said.

But the son is very excited about his father's rare visit to Bombay. He
wants to make the best of it.

He and his wife want to show him around the city. And yes, the son
enjoys those evening hours too, when he and his father go out and sit in a
good bar, sipping their favourite drink.

Face off

Last week he was in a very good mood. 'Let's go to a five star hotel's
bar tonight,' he told his father. It was a beautiful evening.

Talking about everything under the sun they had a few drinks. As usual
they were offered some salad, peanuts, wafers etc .as accompaniments
with their drinks. The old man being almost toothless was not much
interested in eating. But that day when they got up to leave, he simply took
a handful of chana (roasted grams) and stuffed it in the fold of his
dhoti. He might have thought about munching on them, sitting in the car,
or whatever.

Unfortunately while walking in the lobby, he missed a step and
stumbled.

Down he went, scattering the chana on the plush carpet.

No problem .Now try to visualize that scenario. Someone else in his
son's place would have been mortified, embarrassed to death. He might have
cursed not his father but his own self for causing this awkward
situation. 'Never again will I take my old man to such hotels', he would have
vowed.

No sir, not this son. Gently, with a smile, he helped his father get
back on his feet. Instead of feeling irritated or angry, he was amused.
He found the whole incident very funny.Laughing, they both went home and
on the way they decided to return to the same place the following
Sunday.

The old man liked the place. Liked the chana too.A son rises A few days
back, at a friend's place they both described this event and made
everybody laugh.

Weren't you embarrassed? Somebody asked the son. 'Oh, come on now'
replied the son. 'He is my father. He talks in his native language, prefers
to wear a dhoti even to a posh city hotel, takes chana from the bar to
eat later, does whatever he feels like.... So what? Why should I feel
embarrassed with his nature and habits? Nobody has a right to stop him
from doing whatever he feels comfortable with, as long as it is not
harmful to others.'

The son doesn't care what the staff in the hotel thought about that
incident.

He says 'they should be concerned only with their bills and tips. I am
concerned about my father's happiness.' The wife too totally agrees
with the husband on this issue. She feels there are enough other qualities
in her father- in- law to feel proud of.

Accept them .The above incident is not mentioned just to show the love
and devotion of a son for his father. More than love it is a matter of
understanding and a healthy respect for the other person's lifestyle.

A seventy plus old man doesn't want to change his lifestyle now. He
likes the way he eats or dresses or talks. In his eyes there is nothing
wrong with the old ways of living. And the son says, ok, fine. Every body
has a right to live as per his wish. Now at his age, why should he be
forced to learn to eat with a fork and knife, if he doesn't want to? I
will feel bad if he is doing something morally wrong or indulging in
some harmful activities. But otherwise it is fine. I am not going to try
to change him at this stage. He is my father. I love him, respect him.

Hey folks, can you think this way?

So many times we see people getting embarrassed by the so called
unsophisticated behaviour of their family members. They keep on apologizing
about their lack of class and manners or about their drawbacks to
outsiders. My wife can't speak proper English; she doesn't know what's
happening in the world, so I avoid taking her out or introducing her to my
friends and business associates...

My parents can't eat with a spoon and fork, so I don't take them to
restaurants.... My husband is working as an ordinary clerk, so I feel
awkward when I introduce him to my rich friends. My brother is mentally
challenged, so I don't feel like going out with him...

Are you plagued with such thoughts or do you meet such people who think
alike?

If you do, please ask yourself. Why do others or I feel this way?
Really what is there to feel ashamed of? Most of the people always have this
fear of other peoples' opinions and comments. What would others say?

They think and try to alter their own way of living.

Sometimes unnecessarily. What is worse is they try to change their own
people too. And when they can't, they are ashamed, angry. And
apologetic to outsiders.

In fact, these are the people who have no respect for others and no
confidence in oneself. They try to copy others, try to be what they are
not, and constantly ask for outsiders' approval for their behaviour. They
don't care about the feelings of their family members when they avoid
or belittle them.

They don't think how happy his or her family member would feel if
he/she gets an opportunity to go to some swanky restaurant or a fun- filled
party. Your wife, mother, father, little sister, and old aunt...all
those people depending on you for their happiness. If you don't fulfill
their desires, who will?

They are what they are. We are what we are. We don't have to change
ourselves to please strangers. And if you do, you are in for life long
misery.

In that case you would never dare taking your dhoti dad relative to a
five star hotel. And your father would never sit amongst your friends
and laugh his heart out over some funny incident.

ONE BEDROOM FLAT

Found an old forward in my mail box. It's a thought provoking story (Not mine though) Go ahead and read it!!
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ONE BEDROOM FLAT... AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER'S LIFE... - A Bitter
Reality
As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software
Engineer and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and
opportunity.When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come
true.

Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be
staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have
earned enough money to settle down in India.

My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only
asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat. I wanted to do
some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the
time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week
using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of
Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the
foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupeevalue went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10
days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got
my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually
enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home.If I miss anyone
then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week
going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting
shorter I was forced to select one candidate.


In-laws told me,to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3
days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was
time to return to USA, after giving some money to my parents and telling
the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA.

My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started
feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a
week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing. After
two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a
girl,were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my
parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their
grand-children.

Every year I decide to go to India. But part work part monetary
conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant
dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were
seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could
not go to India. The next message I got was my parents had passed away
and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had
done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away
without seeing their grand children.

After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and
my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for
a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the
property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to
the USA.

My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in
India. My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife I
would be back for good after two years.
Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my
son was happy living in USA. I decided that had enough and wound-up
every thing and returned to India. I had just enough money to buy a
decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality. Now I am 60 years
old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to
the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the
holy abode.

Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this? My father, even after
staying in India, had a house to his name and I too have the same
nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned
cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing
their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my
children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.

Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be
performing my last rights, God Bless them. But the question still
remains 'was all this worth it?'


I am still searching for an
answer................!!!!